Oh I Wish I Were A Monkey In A Zoo

If I was a monkey, I would probably look like this....

It would be great to be a monkey, especially on that lives in a zoo. You get fed by humans, cleaned by humans and I could also scare the shit out of little kids. I could roar loud and crash into the metal bars and stick my hairy arms through the holes and try a grab little kids. They couldn't shoot me or anything, because I'd most likely be a protected animal.(they probably would shoot me if I ate a kid or something, but I wouldn't) Best of all I could fling my poop turds at the human tourists. Man, would that be awesome.