A Waste Of Mind

Fire Cracker

2006-09-16T17:34:00.000-06:00

Everything You Are Came From Somewhere Else...

2006-09-15T10:10:00.000-06:00

It Depends On Where You Want It To Come From

Everything you are came from somewhere else. We are procreated by our parents, whom of which are also conceived by their parents, to which they were the offspring from their parents. Our body is made of matter, matter that can be recycled, the matter that shapes our appearance. Our mind is molded by the influences around us. Everything we see and know about ourselves now could be completely different, had we lived another life. Another life would include different friends, family, location, culture and religion. Before our first breath of air, the first time we embody the sunlight, and the first time we are seen without the use of an ultrasound; we were created by something immensely microscopic. Life began in the warmth and comfort of a womb. The opening nine months of our life we transform from a zygote to a human being. We grow physically in the womb. Before our birth we are entirely unaware of what was to become of us. When we leave the womb we grew mentally. Shortly after our debut into Earth's atmosphere we encounter, or begin to discover, the rules to which we must consummate: the standard regulations of life.
A number of these rules are written down in the bible. The bible is written for people to learn a religion which is somewhat of a doctrine, a guide book to follow. Some written regulations, or theology, are altered or completely different from one another, as there are many types of religions that stand present. It is the recipe of life which, if there are no missing or added ingredients, will direct us to the known end. After birth, your creators have the authority to which decrees you will follow by baptism, they may also choose not to baptize you at all.
Besides the protocol created and set by someone you have never met or seen; parents are the outmost ringleaders of law. They are authoritarians that have entrenched you with their own code of conducts. Growing up (I can't say that I am grown up, I won't be until my final moments before I die) you can always remember the 'Berlin Wall' made of rules your parents built. There was always a bed time, curfew, enrolment of unwanted sports or hobbies, how to dress, who your friends are, time to watch TV, time on computer. Altogether, what your parents presume is the proper way for you to be the paramount individual you can be. Throughout our parent's life, they have managed to concoct a homemade moonshine filled with advice that has been based on their past experiences. There are always going to be the lectures of 'this is what happened….and this is what I learned from it, you should too' that we may possibly listen to, or entirely zone out. Just pretend to listen and nod your head here and there, meanwhile you are actually just counting how long you can stare at the endless bustling of lips. (Once you blink remember how long your time was, you should blink spasmodically to give your eyes a rest and it also creates those watery eyes that show your parents that they are reaching you, then attempt to beat your last record.)
Everything you are came from somewhere else. This is quickly presumed true if we look at ourselves as how we dress, what material objects we own, and the inheritance of traits that determine the way we appear. The fact that, yet again, proves this idea to be accurate is the crystal clear truth that we are the offspring conceived by our parents. They made us. How we appear on the outside, in actuality, has come from somewhere else. Now, ignore all factory manufactured objects that this generation is obsessed and fascinated with. Ignore everything about our appearance. We need to focus on what is essential: Do I have any principles I follow? They are created from the mistakes or incidents made by people in the past, continually being modified to fabricate a perfect society. Do I have my own principle or am I listening to some one else's? Your own principles should reflect you. Not something that makes you unhappy or something you were forced think. In my opinion there are two kinds of principles: there are the ones that teach us the difference between the right's and wrong's in life and the ones that force us to do something we don't want to do or restrict us from ourselves. These regulations will be present until the end of time; I have no doubt about that. There is so much that is expected from us, there are plenty ideologies wound up in this society, we can't always be what someone else wants us to be. For century's human beings are constantly being reminded, taught and forced to think a certain way. We aren't born knowing the laws or the principles, someone has to tell us. These rules that are ambushed and enforced upon us are deemed by a foreign battalion. We either chose to follow the rules and learn from other peoples mistakes, or we can rebel and breathe this air (which is quite polluted I might add) they way we want to. There is no getting out of jail free card once you're dead. There is this saying my mom always told me, it goes something like this; "the smartest people around are the ones who learn from other people's mistakes, the dumb people don't" Unfortunately, no not unfortunately. Fortunately I was one of the dumb people.
From my birth, March 11th 1988, until present day, my whole existence seems to resemble just a flash of a camera. The picture that is developed shows my entire life; I'm not saying it was that dull, the picture of course would never be the same. It will always be changing. Why? It'll make sense in the end. I promise.
The young, first years of my life, I was back in elementary school and you could have considered me a child that was perfect. My parents, and other parents, I'm sure, had rules of the house. They were simple ethics about human etiquette and the general obligations of childhood. No feet on the table, finish your dinner, wash your hands, please and thank you's, don't fight or steal and never lie. I always listened to the rules set by my parents. It can be hypothetical for a young child, who loves and looks up to their parents every single moment of the day, to obey them. When you're that young and innocent all you care about is kid stuff. For me it was my beanie baby collection, and stealing my mom’s make-up. I was your grade A example of a "darling widdle angel". The turning point for me was when I moved to Springbank. I'm not going to be shy about this, I was different from everyone else. I began puberty at the age of 11, so I was a foot taller compared to my classmates. I also had this skin condition called Vitiligo. It wasn't anything major, it was just certain areas of my skin did not produce skin color. Those areas were left ivory white. There were patches of white under my chin, on my eyelids and knees. It was almost impossible to cover it up. My classmates were the most judgmental and mean people I have ever encountered in my life. Day in and day out I was attacked by verbal abuse, my reaction to this assault was just to keep everything inside. After time had passed you can imagine how low my self-esteem dropped and how out of place I felt. I just didn't fit the mold, the mold of the snotty, perfect and critical "Springbankers". They always looked for reasons to make them seem "cooler" than everyone else; the sad thing is they still do. What had I done wrong? I always followed the rules; there shouldn't have been any karma to sneak up on me. It was the disapproval of my acceptance into this new lifestyle that led me to the conclusion that following and executing the principles that were given to me in advice, do not always make you happy. I was broken.
It's funny how you think doing everything right your whole life, listening to advice, and actually learning these standards would reward you with a joyful life. Don't think that anymore, you just get played. My favorite musical artist, my inspiration, and my reassurance in rough times (if I was 6 or 7 years older than I am now, I would marry him in an instant) is Matthew Good. He wrote a book called, "At Last There Is Nothing Left To Say". Hidden away in the short-stories and activist style essays, Good writes, "The future is nothing more than what you think it should be. And the disappointing feature about that is it rarely becomes all you hoped it would." My future didn't, I needed to change. Matthew Good is completely right, nothing ever happens the way you want it to. So, in anger with my self, I began to drink alcohol in grade 7. It was a horrible solution but it always able to take my mind off the ideas or happenings that have been eating away at my stomach and tearing me up from the inside - out. I started sneaking out of the house to get drunk all the time. I would take the screen out of my window and crawl through it and run as fast as I could away from the house. You didn't want to get caught because you'd have to deal with sleeping outside or playing the stare at lip game. I started to lie to my mom about where I was going all the time and what I was doing. She new I was too, but no I always told her complete lies. I never used to lie at all. I was just lost and wanted to be found. I abandoned every ideology that was ever taught to me and as each ideology consecutively begun to brake apart, I was beginning to see life from a new perspective. The old ways of doing things were gone. I didn't want to listen to what people had learned about their life, they live a different one than I do. Through this process of breaking this doctrine, some people may call it a sin, I was learning new things about myself and the others that inhabited in the community. I was becoming more knowledgeable about the past me and using it towards meeting the new me. I was only able to discover myself if I cleansed myself from ideologies that have been pumped into my brain. After I rid myself of this rules there were often good or bad results, but I learned from everything. To ignore the past is to prolong its mistakes. My past consisted of believing and relying on the principles that I thought was the answer to everything. In my case, they weren't..
The principles that I thought were all gone, until? There are still a few remaining in my mind. They continue to stay there because it made me feel save. The remaining principles inscribed in my head and it's hard to get over. They, my principles) were soon squashed with my low self-confidence and the intense peer pressure of high school. High school is where you get to meet entirely different people from middle school, they are older, more mature and you obviously look up to them. I looked up to the older grades; it's because they did not resemble or have anything to have in common with the characteristics of the students in my grade. There was no escaping their judgmental and spoiled rotten nature. I knew the older grades they would accept me, and good news they did. But, good news is always followed by bad news, no matter what and no matter how long it takes. There is a large amount of drug trafficking that goes through the school, and it was my new friends who were really into drugs. I gave in to the peer pressure, my frail wall off confidence collapsed. It felt like drugs took me away from everything. I became involved in heavy drugs, first it was pot, mostly cocaine and ecstasy. Cocaine is what devoured everything about me alive. Just one line is all it took and I was hooked. Everyday I spent 60 dollars for a gram to myself, shortly after my savings were all gone. I started stealing money from my parents and brothers, sneaking around always looking for chump change so I could satisfy my addiction. I had lost around 30 pounds weighing a mere 75 pounds. The addiction drove me to the lowest point of my life. I hated my self when I didn't have any, when I finally got some , I took some and after the 10 minute high, I would begin to come down and I hated my self even more. My family couldn't handle me, I would just fight with them and steal. I was out of control, out of hope and living a life whish had resulted from my decisions. These are the decisions that have made me the person with the principles I have today.
Thankfully, I came out of the hole that was so close to caving in on me. I am one of the few lucky people to get up out of the hole and get back on top of my life. The time it took for my withdrawals to slowly diminish, was the same time it took me to realize it was a good thing to go through a rough patch. It changed my life for the better. To hear someone or read about what you shouldn't do or should do through there knowledge of the past is not worth consideration. No body will ever feel how I did or go went I through because every human being reacts differently. I feel stronger, confident and happier without my forced past principles. Everything I experienced over these few years I never want to forget. Every single moment is an ingredient to my own recipe for life. The recipe for life is as followed:
1 cup of self confidence
1 cup of commitment
1/2 cup responsibility (for yourself and others)
1/2 cup honesty
2 cups of the real you (don't be something your not)
1/3 cup setting goals and working for them
2 cups do not regret anything
1 cup talk care of your self before others
5 cups don't ever settle for less than best
4 cups of don't be afraid of change
10 cups for knowing your family is always there for you
5 cups for realizing the rules your parents made, they thought were the best for you
4 cups of knowing the difference between right and wrong

Blend all of these ingredients together and what you have is my principles. They are just for me, decided by me and have been working for me.

Life is too short to be told what to do; always do things to make you happy, I'll say this again, never settle for second best, you always know you can do better. That's the way you have to be. I became, or transformed into who I am now by breaking down to an all time low and throwing away my life along with the principles that were forced for me to abide. The low moment in my life is almost parallel to King Lear's moment it the storm when he realizes he's cracked. Both King Lear and I endured extreme changes. I have learned and recognized my important standard and re-learned olds ones with a much better understanding.
Everything you are came from somewhere else. This time it came from actions that will forever affect the rest of my life. It's a shock to look back and see how much I changed. In the beginning I was convinced that the principles forced on me controlled how I reacted to any kind of stimuli, and how motivated I was(which was nonexistent) and the way it made me feel about myself. Trapped. I fell into a deep hole believing what was not the answer for me. This hole was on the brink of collapsing. My body was deteriorated, my hair was falling out, my skin was white, my face broke up into sores and I spent months going on without sleep. I managed to work up the courage crawl out and take time for myself to iron out the wrinkles and work out the knots. And the fact that I was able to quit the most addictive drug without any help, reassured me of some sign of confidence left I me. The way to live your life is up to you, it belongs to you. You should be able to rely on your own principles, not someone else's. For me a religion is just another way to have your principles forced on you, when you break them you can be forgiven anyways. That means no matter how many times you disobey God's principles you still get forgiven. All you need to know is the difference between right and wrong. Live your days discovering your self and new ideas without ideologies from others, you can't very well have principles chaining you down from your true self. The change I made for myself was to refuse to rely on those principles that had been taught to me when I was younger. That gave me the chance to see myself without the influence from someone else or principles that did not work for me. The first time I felt as if there was no control over me or my actions is when I started painting again. It was just me and a blank canvas, a tool I used to vent all my frustrations and sorrows into. For the longest time I was unable to see me, but this time I was reunited with myself. I didn't have to please anyone; I did what made me happy. I became independent and now can rely on my own conscious to remind me of the principles I learned on my own. According my mother's statement, I seem to be deemed as a dumb person. Yet this makes no sense, this person experienced the event to which he or she connected with and learned from. The way I see it is that the dumb person encounters these mistakes and is able to react and solve them on their own. Where as the smart person only hears the story from the dumb person's point of view and would experience no connection what so ever. How can someone learn from that? I can say I am a person of principles, but not by same the principles others may have or have told me about them. I know my own self better than anyone else. I know my picture of my life will always be changing; my life is not done yet. I have so much left to do to be able to say that I lived. I don't want to miss out on anything, nobody should. There is only one chance you've got with life, make the most of it. Don't have anyone put a damper on you with their own principles, stay true to yourself. There is yet to be new discoveries about your self everyday, sometimes there seems to be no explanation why you never knew something about your self before. You can't discover anything without taking a journey. Then again, not all things are as easily explained as DVD instructions. Your life is waiting, mine is too, but it will only go with you if you're honest to yourself and stay true. Once you're life is gone…you can't hitch hike back. It's only a one way trip. Go! Live your life outside the life you know.

"And you wonder why no one knows who they are anymore" - Matthew Good

Man Shot

2006-09-09T14:04:00.000-06:00

Some of my friends, well I should say most of them are idiots. Who in their right mind would do this?

Only Trev.

Edit: the sound is a bit off, but you'll get the jist of it.

Random Photo Post

2006-09-05T13:34:00.000-06:00

Summer time.

Cheers.

About Death

2006-09-03T11:39:00.000-06:00

There is this feeling I get in the back of my throat and in the pitt of my stomach whenever I see a dead animal. I always wonder what kind of life they lived; were they happy? struggling? sad? You never can tell by just looking at their rotting body. There is nothing left; no sign of any life, no emotions, no sound. Dead.

What really happens when something dies? I mean it seems like they are still there, their spirit still in that body but no movement. It's like the body was just used as a vessel of life until the soul was no longer interested in it. Maybe I'm just talking straight bullshit.

I'd like to give a thanks to Boo. Thanks for bringing this bird on my deck. I tried to move it....I couldn't do it. I grabbed a shovel and attempted to scoop it up, but when doing so the bird head moved, almost like it was still alive. My body instantly froze up. So my second choice was grabbing a cardboard box and coverin the bird's body until someone can remove it for me. I actually feel really bad just leaving it there. Leaving it to be picked at by distugsting flies. I'm sorry, when I get someone to move it I'll bury him somewhere far away. And make sure Boo doesn't dig it up.

bye.

Bedroom Floor

2006-09-01T10:44:00.000-06:00

Last night.....oh man, last night was a night that ranged from extreme fun to horrible. So I bought a twelve pack of Kokanee Gold and probably gobbled down 7 of them. I don't really know for sure, but what I do know is that there are bottles everywhere. So at this point in time, I was pretty intoxicated. I then decide to smoke a little pot, but my plan of smoking a little turned into me and Dan smoking a huge fatty. So I was pretty drunk then I got pretty fucking high......while I was sitting outside my head starts to spin and my eyes start to close. But, you can't close your eyes because it makes the spinning worse, so I go and lay down on my bed. Boo is already passed out. She likes to tip over beer bottles and drink whatever is left in them. Anyways, back to my story, while lying on the bed I had the urge to vomit, so I race to my bathroom. I never ever puke on the floor, for some reason I always make it to my bathroom or a garbage can. So I throw my face into the depths of my toilette and await the heaving and splatting. I continue to wait, but nothing comes up. I was also so comfortable sitting on my knees, face in the toilette, I was seriously contemplating passing out like that. Fortunatly, Dan was there to save the day, he carried me back to my bedroom and flopped me on my bed. The motion of being carried just made me worse, so I roll off my bed, grab the garbage can and dry heave like there was no tomorrow. To make a long story short...I woke up this morning on the floor next to my bed, hugging the garbage can and Boo licking my ears. That was the worst way to wake up.

I am never drinking again.

Just kidding.

My Sweetie

2006-08-31T12:42:00.000-06:00

Here is Boo....

She was the fattest out of litter...

Rolie Polie Olie

That's her, she's only 14 weeks old and she's already 22 pounds. She is going to be a BIG girl.

I'm Back

2006-08-31T11:29:00.000-06:00

So, I'm back now. This summer was pretty busy, I'v been out at my cabin and back home about 20 times throughout the summer. Just back and forth...a lot of driving. The time is winding down for me here in Canada, only 40 days until I leave to New York City. I got a new puppy aswell, her name is Boo. I'll post pictures later, but I got to run. See ya.

hello

2006-05-27T23:06:00.000-06:00

So my boyfriend and I broke up. Boo Hoo. I'm pretty much over it now, i'm not here to cry or anything it just an update on everything. So he broke up with me cause he couldn't stand me smoking. Fucker. Whatever, I'm going to New York baby! So i'v decided I am going to start a new blog all about my time in New York. I promise you it will be far away from boring. But I'm going to drink, it's fun ahaha. Have a good night!

So...

2006-05-08T20:12:00.000-06:00

So I am back now once again after a long break. I just finished doing a production called "While The Were Out"...funniest play ever. If funniest is even a word. But big...HUGE....GIGANTIC news. Remember the school, AMDA, I applied for monthes before...well I had an audition last weekend and I got a phone call from an addmissions guy today. He said, "Now that you have recieved your letter do you have any questions you want to ask me?" and I said, "about what? I didn't get my letter yet", he said, "you acceptance letter?", I said, "WHAT?" and he said, "You have been accepted". I fell to the floor and asked him, "really?" and he was like, "Uhh yeah?" and then I juped up and down and started screaming. Wow this was amazing news. Come September I will be moving to New York City. I never thought I would ever say that. Well that's that. Have a good one.

Bragg Creek skating

2006-01-29T14:15:00.000-07:00

So last night instead of going to RB's little sisters party which was cancelled until next weekend, we bought a 40 of Jack and drove to bragg creek to do a little skating. I got wasted. I always do...my liver is going to shut down any day now. I slept in until 1:00 pm today. It's a little ridiculous...but hey do it while you can. We stopped at this party, which was in general a younger people party. I walked in, noticed the screaming, giddy girls and walked out. Fuck, they are so annoying. On the way back from bragg, which is like a 20 minute highway drive, Trev passed out. Haha. Well here are some pictures....you know you can always count on me for some good pictures!

See you tommorow!

hours of nothing

2006-01-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

So, I have got myself a boyfriend now. Surprise, surprise. He is amazing...that pretty much sums it up. We can spend days just lying on a bed doing nothing...well sometimes we get "distracted" from doing nothing but other than that, it's just tickling, nibbling, touching, rubbing, kissing...We have been together for about two monthes now..I don't the exact date(haha I really don't count) Yeah, that's pretty much it.
I got drunk last night...which was pretty fun, wait it always is. Tonight is RB's lilttle sister's party. I invited myself, and my job is to confiscate liquor from underaged kiddies and drink it for myself. Yes.

told you....

2006-01-28T00:02:00.000-07:00

Look...or I should say read, I am posting again. Like I said yesterday...i would post today.

That's about it.

....until tommorow.

Whoa...I'm new here.

2006-01-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm back now. That was the longest part I had with blogger, I couldn't stand myself anymore. I always come back. And...look I have. I have been sorting out my life lately...haha that sounds ridicoulous, but I need to figure out what I am going to do. My current plan of action is; sometime in April I have an audition that will determine if I am accepted to AMDA. (American Musical and Dramatic Academy) The campus that I am looking into is in New York City, right beside Central Park. I know think of it...little me + huge city = death. Nah, I'll be fine. Pepper spray and the extendable taser(which I am still looking into) will keep me safe. I can hardly stand myself, I am so excited. If that works out, it'll be two years and if my career(in acting of course) doesn't take-off from there, I will return to good Oh Canada and attend UBC.(hopefully) If acting doesn't work out at all, knock on wood, I will get m education degree and teach drama. Wow, that's alot to handle. Then again, I can always marry a rich, old fart and suck him dry of all his cash. Jokes.

I went to Jamaica for two weeks over Christmas...to sum it up in two words; drunken rampage....24/7. 24/7 isn't a word so I did sum it up in two words. I'll give you some pictures. I lost my camera for like a week of this trip to only find it in one pair of shoes that I happen not to wear. But here it goes.
Here I am with my brother(drunk and bored)...I know I am a loser.

Above: This is my favourite.

Above: My brother is insane. Really.

Once I got back...drunken rampage again.

Above: Hangovers suck.
Hmmm that's about it. Cross your fingers...I'll post again tommorrow.

Oh, why not a couple more pictures with me and my famous smiling cat.

Awww cute.

Now you made her angry....

Roaring 20's

2005-11-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy right now to write stuff so I'll just leave you with some pictures! K...maybe I'll wirte a little bit. Everyone dressed up as a twenties theme. So obviously I was a flapper.

Schaffer and I looking seductive.

This ones a gooder.

GRRRRRR...(notice the wig)

Evan you make me laugh!

Wyatt and I....with Jordan in behind.

k..at this point everyone was slammed and my costume slowly started to get ripped off me. But where is my wig?

OH! There it is!

Loren and I.

Yes! Have a good week!

Time to get caught up

2005-11-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Okay...so i'm pretty much back to myself now. For a bit there I couldn't bring myself up to get out of bed. Alcohol solves everything. I am in this play called the "Final Dress Rehersal" and it's frickin hilarious. It is about these people who suck at acting and they're putting on the show Cinderella. The step mother is played by a guy and in his stepmother character he pus on the lowest drag voice ever! The step sisteres are played by guys aswell, they use screeching high voices. Fairy godmother is played by a guy aswell. Oh ya...I'm cinderalla. Haha! Everyone else are guys. It should be awesome. I'll have to get someone to record to so you guys can see it. Or whoever is still left reading my blog.

Last night I went to the Flames game. We rocked Vancouver's ass! Amazing game. We parked on 17th ave (once known as Red Mile) and on our peaceful journey we happen to witness a fender bender. Well, not quite. Some drunkin dick ran a red light a smoked this SUV. The Suv then flipped and rolled a couple of times chases the pedestrians up the side walk. I had no idea somehing like that culd happen so fast. Nobody was hurt...badley so thats good. Then on the way back were sitting at a light downtown, and a young man started washing the window of the car next to us. This short, bald car get out of his car, still holding his beer and starts fighting with this kid. What an ignorant prick. Shortly after he got into his car and turned off, probably to go back a fight with the kid. But there were five other standing there. I hope his car got shit kicked. Anywho...I'm off.

hi

2005-10-26T21:38:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the extended delay in posting. I haven't been the perkiest person lately. A couple weeks ago my dog had a stroke and lost all of his movement from his shoulder up. His eyes sunk into his head, he couldn't hear, and his throat could not function. In the long run, we ended up putting him down. It was so sudden. My family and I did not see it coming. Last weekend I had picked up his urn and paw print. We put on top of the fire place, in the same direction as he would lie down and watch us, day after day. I'm starting to cry writing about this. It feels like a part of me is gone. Everyday I'd come home to hugs and kisses, and a love that was incredibly strong. He was my best friend. Car rides, napping during the day, singing, and the days where he would jump on the couch and put his head under mine and lay there. No dog or any other animal could ever replace him. I miss him so much.

Egg

2005-10-01T11:35:00.000-06:00

So last night I was tucking Melodi in to sleep. She has a little teddy bear in there, she loves that thing, she cuddles with it like crazy. I cover her cage with a sheet and tuck it in on the sides so she's warm in the night, as I pursue into tucking the sheet in I notice she is sitting on something. After a closer look...I had come to a conclusion that she layed an egg! I didn't know what to do, I have never experienced this because I have never owned a bird before. I called my parents, they couldn't believe it either. After an hour of frantics, I finally find the number to the emergency vet line. It's a dud. I have to take it out in a few days. I am going to make somebody else take it out, so she doesn't hate me. The egg is so amazingly pretty, it's got a slight cream color to it and it is a perfect shape. I don't think I have ever seen such a beautiful egg. Yes I know it's just an egg, but it's like you dog or cat have a litter of puppies or kittens. You'de be raving about it just as much as I am about Melodi's egg. Well that's about it.

Enjoy your weekend.

Oh yeah, I couldn't get a better picture cause she got pissed off at the camera.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

2005-09-22T17:33:00.000-06:00

Oh be joyful! I'm not sure if all the chords are right...but I'd like to think so. My singing sucks too...but at least I get A for effort. I seem to like jammin' along while the song is playing...(I have to use a free video hosting site and the google serach thing I con't get rid of)

Well, it is fall as we know it. I love fall. The leaves turn melodious colors that makes the oudoors feel like your in a Van Gogh. Early mornings the blades of grass are covered in icy white frost and the deep rolling hills are clouded with fog. Drving up and down and through the fog is amazing. The fog only lies in the lower parts so you come up the hill and into the fog...up the hill and into the fog. Best of all it's mushroom season. Not the magic ones...the yummy ones. I am obsessed with mushrooms. Yes I know they are a fungus, but, well...k I just like them alot okay.

I took two caffine pills today....OH MY GOD. I was shaking, trembling, couldn't sit still and I broke out into a sweat. Never again Meranda....never again.

Best Day EVER

2005-09-21T09:17:00.000-06:00

So yesterday, yes yesterday I got the new Matt Good 'In A Coma' CD and DVD collection. Man was I ever excited...and still am. All the acoustic tracks are awesome and I am in love with 'Big City Life'. Anywho, I got home and opened up the cd, it was brand spanking new and as I open it the acoustic cd falls out along with all these little clear pices of plastic. After a closer examination, all three of the "circle, tooth, cd holder thingys" were broken. Awwwwww. So I run, not run...drive back to HMV and told them what I got. Together we all opened four more cd's and they are all the same. SHIT HOLE! I mean i would like the cd case to not be broken. They're plan is to call me when they get a new shipment in. In the mean time I have my original, first CD I bought. That's about it. Have a nice day!

Oh and hey! I am working on the revamping part of my blog. And yes the water looks stupid as the background.

Revamp

2005-09-18T19:47:00.000-06:00

As you can see I am trying to revamp my blog but I can't stick with anything I like. In addition to that, I don't have the time and effort to put into it. Well I do have the time but not the effort. Any ideas?

Whoa

2005-09-17T00:12:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in a while. So tonight I went to this gay-ass party....I still got slammed thou. My lil bro drives my ass around now, so I don't have to worry about drinking and driving. Yup that's about it.

So picture this...your 14, drunk, stoned, trippin out whatever. And you have to go home to see your mom. What you do is walk right up or down to your room. Of course she is going to follow you and start bitching. At that point with bitched eyes and a slurred voice you say,"mom I can't even fucking hear you". That sets her off, then you say, "I can't even fucking see you, I'm fucking going to bed." You know what this may not be this funny reading it....no it's not funny at all. Okay nevermind then....I talk to you tommorow.

Have a good one.

Sushi...Without the Sushi

2005-09-13T20:51:00.000-06:00

So my uncle came down yesterday and tonight my family and I went out for sushi. I felt like such a retard, ordering items without fish. Hence the fact I am a vegetarian. My uncle kept passing around fish and chicken and saying, "dead fish anyone? how bout some dead chicken? too bad these hundren salmon eggs were unable to hatch" and all these other crude comments. It WAS funny... until I got pissed off. My brother and I then left. To get ou of the both you have to walk around everyone on the booth seat. My brother purposely or accidentally(who knows) shoved my uncle while he was taking a drink of beer and it splashed everywhere. I was emotionally satisfied. Well that's about it. Other than 6 more days until Matt Good's "In A Coma" comes out. I am SO god damn excited.

My line of the day...(I made this one up too!)...okay here we go..."If I had hair like you, it would look exactly like yours!"

I know, it's dumb, but I like it.

so, it's raining again

2005-09-11T10:21:00.000-06:00

It raining. Pouring, I should say. For three days now. I feel like a gremlin stayin inside hiding from the rain. The lack of sunlight is making me depressed. I just hoping I could take in a little more sun before it snows...but wait it has snowed around here and there. Shit. Nevernimd then. Melodi is even depressed. I con't put ere right by the window where she likes it because he windows give off cold air. She won't coo unless I sick my face righ up in her cage and say "hello" wit an annoying voice. It like the voice you say to your dog, "hi puppy, do you wanna treat, here puppy come a treat you widdle cutie". Kind of like tat but your talking to a dove.

It's September 11th today. Let's all take a moment of silence, remeber those who were lost in the two world trade centers. And those in result of 9/11. 9/11 was used as the excuse for George W. Bush to invade Iraq, and in the process thousands of innocent Iraqis were killed.So let's also take a moment of silence and remeber.

Well that's about it for today. I guess I hought I had some really good pictures from friday. I guessed wrong, I was a lil tipsy and only lke 3 of them turned out. The rest of them were of the ground, people's feet and half faces. I am an idiot.

and that picture proves it.

EDIT: I absolutly suck at spelling.

rondom tid bits

2005-09-08T17:53:00.000-06:00

Well nothing exciting too exciting today just a few good pictures.

Constapation?

I look constapated in this one.

Luke and Trev acting like thugs.

They are awesome...

Have a super evening.

HR is AWESOME

2005-09-07T19:55:00.000-06:00

My little bro showed me this yesterday....funniest thing I have seen in a long time. I literally pissed my pants after watching it like 30 times. So I am going to share it with you!
Enjoy!

Well I went shopping today and got all this new wicked ass shit. Haha. In other words clothes. Holt Renfrew is my best friend...I get so excited when I go in there, I know this sounds lame but I love shopping. They had this fashion show thing tonight and it was packed with people. Alot of rich snobby people who look you up and down at what your wearing. They all dressed to a tee and my mom and I are in there wearing jeans and a tee. Well she was more done up than me...but who really cares. Well that's my exciting story of the day...I'm goin to go shower now.
Here is all my new wicked ass shit.

I love this sweater/jacket/blazer dingy.

regular skchedchules

2005-09-06T16:49:00.000-06:00

Well I am back in Calgary now. Good ol' cow town...anywho. Back to my regular schedule and posting regularllyelylty. No more dial-up! YESSS! thats about it!
Have a good day/evening whatever.

George Bush can lick my balls!

Aren't they just soooo adorable haha.

Kisses.

I don't know....I just think this picture is weird/cool...

16 days later.....

2005-08-18T22:23:00.000-06:00

Another delay...i'm not going to apolagize thou. Ok....maybe i am. Sorry. I am once again trying to upload my photo collection to photobucket bu the process takes so long I just end up giving up on them. So to tie you over. I present my one and only....
CLICK HERE
I took him to vet a couple days ago cause he was bleeding from his anus. Like really bad. You may think it's funny at first but I was bawling cause I thought he had internal bleeding. He's home now, I picked him up today. The vet doesn't know what it was but the bleeding stopped. He now has special canned food to eat, and I have to stick a siringe down his throat and pump this brown stuff that smells like chocolate down his asophagus. It's supoosed to coat his whole intestinal tract. He also has two sets of opills to take every 6 hours. I hope all this will help him. He defenantly looks better from when I took him into the vet. I gave him a bath when he got home and he's back to his normal self. Begging for food, rolling around and following me wherever I go.

I told you so...

2005-08-02T11:48:00.000-06:00

Well I did say I was going to start postin again more often....and look I am. Knock on wood. I am starting to get used to the slow internet connection, besides the uncontrolable outbursts of hitting the screen and screaming. This week it is my duty to dog/cat/bird sit. I'm here in Sylvan Lake while everyone is back in Calgary, cause my brother has hockey school. So it's just me, Melodi, Lacy, Buddy, Tasha and Cali. Here are some pictures from last week. My cousin Mandy came down from Vegreville (near Edmonton) to visit....just waiting for the photos to upload...still waiting. Fuck off stupid computer, I have been waiting for 20 minutes. Uhhhhhhhhhh. Okay here you go! Oh wait...I have to resize them...okay, now here ya go!

Delay...

2005-07-29T02:01:00.000-06:00

Yup, I know I haven't posted in for-ever. I have been restricted from the internet. Dial-up sucks balls. I'm at my cabin in Sylvan Lake and we only have dial up and it pisses me off so much so I thought whats the point? Anywho, I saw Matt Good in concert today. AWESOME! Loved it! Oh Be Joyful was played, and I felt like the only one who new the lyrics to sing along with. I met him after the show when he was signing autographs, and asked if he remembered me. (remember when Jennifer got everyone to send in their pictures a while back) yup. He did remember me...it was awesome. Matthew Good is my hero, favourite artist, whatever you may call him I was estatic (spelling sorry) when I met him. remeber way back in grade 8 or 9 we hade to list 50 things that we wanted to do before we died and for at like half or a quarter of the things I listed was to meet Matt. I could go one forever but i'm tired from driving in the scary rain at night. Hopefully all is well, and I am going to start postin more often! Cheers!

pepto-bismol is my hero

2005-06-24T10:58:00.000-06:00

Well sorry about the delay in posting, have no good excuse. These past couple have weekes have been a complete shit show. Yes thats right shit show. Besides the flooding everything has been great. Our house didn't flood but my neighbors were knee deep in shit! I guess the house across from mine, the shit shot up out of the toilette. Haha. This week has been the "rip rock retarded" week. A couple days ago I tried mushrooms...the "magic" ones of course. My god....everything was so fucking funny. I would just look at Holli and we would burst out lauging for ne reason. The rest of the week has been filled with drinking. My body is starting to break down. I woke up this morning, nausea and headache were my symtoms. I am so weak and shakey...I can barely play my guitar. Even looking at the fucking screen right now is a challenge. I'm just hopeing my sickness phase will go over soon. My rents are leaving for the weekend....it's going to be a clutch weekend. That's my new word. Clutch. Anywho...here are some poos to tie you over for another week before I post again. Bad blogger Meranda.

2005-06-15T16:15:00.000-06:00

Hmmmm, can't think of anything to post today. Actually there is something pretty exciting. I always wear jeans...they're my life. Therefore, I rarely shave my legs. Kinda gross I know, but if you can't see my legs then why bother shaving them? Anywho, I did shave them today. I shaved them in like strips, so I could feel the difference between stubby and smooth. I have to say I prefer smooth. But, I feel that shaving takes up too much time in the shower, well for me. I have to make sure I get every hair, no leftovers. And in doing so, I tend to peel(slice) my skin of my body because of the manovering to get the diffacult spot. (ie: knee caps, under knees, above the ankle where the skin is tight, etc) Well I have expressed my self deeply today. Does anyone else have any thoughts you would like to share?

Notice: I just got got of the shower in my picture...hence the shaving detailed mumbo jumbo.

wow....

2005-06-14T11:15:00.000-06:00

K I know this is so immature, but these two could pass as two really hairy people.

Have a good day!

Cats

2005-06-13T22:11:00.000-06:00

Well not much to my pictures....wes is obsessed with my cat. We brought her along for the trip, she meows like she's in heat and crawls around everywhere. It's actually entertaining. Then my good ol' dog sticks his head out when driving fast and his lips get stuck up so when he pops his head back in it looks like he has no lips what so ever. That's about it for today...yes I know my life is boring. Here are the cat pictures.

This is Grizz. He's my Grandma's dog. He is the funniest thing alive!!

Our garden...I know it doesn't look like much now...but just wait.

FIN

contagious..what? not me!

2005-06-12T19:38:00.000-06:00

This is another point form post brought to you by Meranda.

Thursday, woke up eyes were itchy.

Friday, eyes were itchy and red.

Friday afternoon, went to doctor to find out I have an eye infection. SICK!

Friday after doctor, got eye drops.

Friday night, put eye drops in my eyes.

Five minutes later, I could feel the eye drop solution go down my nasal passage and into my throat.

I don't think that's supossed to happen. I could actually taste and swallow the shit.

Friday before my eyedrops, Wes and I drove up to my Grandma's house in Sylvan Lake. (soon to me our cabin because she is moving)

Saturday, planted a huge garden and ate Mcdonalds.

Super Sized Fries with two Sweet and Sour sauces. MMMMMM so good.

Too lazy right now to put up pictures. Will do tommorrow.

Until then,

Peace out.

when it rains...it pours

2005-06-08T20:01:00.000-06:00

Yup...it's flooding in good ol' Alberta. You would never think that dusty, dry Alberta would get gigantic amounts of rain. Good thing I live on the top of a huge-ass hill. A few, well not few, lots of my buddies live ot in Bragg Creek and I guess some areas of bragg had to be evacuated because the water was coming over the bridge that lead to west bragg. The rain is dying down slowly...at least the grass will be green for a while...until the desert climate returns.

This weekend was a shit show. Friday night my good friend Meaghan had a house party. To cut to chase, I drank too much on an empty stomach. I hadn't eatin anything on friday because I was running around doing shit errands all day. No time for eating. So a couple beers, 3 shots of JD and a cooler did me good. The aftermath= dry heaving until frothy stomach acid emerged from the depthes of my stummy. Yes!

Saturday...meh. Just the usuall hanging out at Caseys. But what is special about this weekend...well not really special. My friend sean is leaving for Paris tommorow. He's going to be a fucking model...I can't beleive it. Lately he's been showing up with brand new prada, DnG, Gucci..Whatever clothing. He's going to be big...and when he does become big. I made a deal with him that I could be his personal assistant. I'll just fuckin follow him everywhere and get what he wants. Meanwhile on my terms...I get to mee all the famous hotties an dhopeflly hook it up for myself.

The sticking out of the tongue picture, thats Holli. I went with her to get my tongue pierced. We had a set a date when to get it pierced and had it all organized. But spontaniously, out of nowhere we decided to screw our plans and just get it down. So we fucking drive around the city too look for this place, evtually we arrived in one piece. Holly goes first...after that I wa sjust scared shitless. I sit on the chair, look around and I have a whole fucking audience. Wes, Holli, Dave and three other girls waiting to get a tattoo just happen to watch what I am doing. He clamps down on my tongue and this is where it starts to get funny. (It wasn't funny at the time but when I look back it was hilarious) I start tembling, and my tongue is having confultions and drool is sliding down my face and on my shirt. Finally the sticks the needle through my god damn tongue and it was a joyful headrushing pain. It was worth it.

Today...I had a dentist appointment to get my cavity filled. I thought I had one...but nope I had two and I chipped a tooth from my tongue ring. So I had the whole shibang done today. They froze the right side of my face. After I was done...the frozen side drooped and it was unable to move. I looked like a female version of Jean Cretien. Have you ever bit the side of your cheek when you mouth was frozen. A couple years ago I did...I was chowing down on a burger no noticing anything until I tasted blood. I looked in the mirrior and I had bit a chunk out of my cheek. It was quite awesome because I didn't feel a thing. Today I had the biggest urge just the repeat that incident once again, but not my accident. Full on, chew the fuck out of my cheek. It wouldn't hurt until the numbing sensation went awa. But it would be RIP ROCK RETARDED FUN until then.

I am not going to edit this for spelling...

P.S the picture with Sean and I is all edited because that was the durnkin night and I look fucked. It's just embaressing.....

New Design

2005-06-02T19:53:00.000-06:00

I was getting sick of my old one. It was so depressing with all the black and grey. Meh. Any suggestions let me know!

It rained today. Monsooned. If that is even a word. My basement is a catastrophe..I am living in filth. I have been really stressed out about school lately, I have had no time for anything. Which sucks balls.

How's the towel folding going? Hope your not licking any nuts!
Have a good one.

Hello!

2005-06-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

Melodi say hello. It was very hard for me to get this....she's is scared of my camera or something. Everytime she would see it her feahers puffed out like a blow fish. Speaking of blow....I am still sick. My nose needs a blowin' every 5 minutes, it's stupid. Oh yes...SPECIAL thanks to Chad for helping me to get this clip on my blog. Well actually he did about 98% of it. I filmed it...that's about it. No he did not steal her....I only owe him 10000 a year for 10000 years for helping me.

It rained today...really heavy. I left something very close to my heart out in the ambience of rain.....my spongbob slippers. I have had them in the dryer for 2 hours now and they are still damp. (they are pretty thick) Boohoo....

Weekend....two days away.

I stubbed my toe on my vacumm cleaner.

Squished a spider on my ceiling.

I ate a huge tomato today.

I had a weird dream last night....I rolled down a cliff.

Spanglish is a good movie.

So is Erin Brockovich.

My truck needs an oil change.

I have noticed writing this post is much easier if you put it point form.

If it pisses you off.....your can lick nuts.

No, not peanuts.

Nor cashews.

Absolutly no almonds.

Don't even think about the macadamanadudman nuts.

Do I ever suck at spelling.

I can't think of anymore nuts....

Insane Nose and Throat

2005-05-31T10:12:00.000-06:00

So I have been sick.....can't breathe outta my nose and I caugh(fuck I forgot how to spell that) yellow flem. I was going to show you a picture...but then I thought to myself, "that's sick". Then again I have shown picture of people barfing.

Melodi is started to take a liking to me, it took a while for her to get used to me. Now when I say, "Hello!" she coos back! When she sees me walk by her cage she jumps around and does this, "che che che che che" noise. I let her out in the guest bedroom once and a while and she flies on the top of my head like it's a nest or something. It's quite special. When I first got her, she was scared shitless of everything.

Miss Canada won Miss Universe. Great!

I gained like 12 pounds from Invermere. I think it's from all the greasy A&W food I ate. I need to lose it...wearing jeans and short shirt and having your rolls hang over your jeans is not nice. Speaking of that, my mom and me went for Dim Sum and then downtown to go shopping. We stopped at a red ligt and this girl walked by with a short ass white skirt...I wish I had my camera because her skirt was so short her ass was hanging out the bottom. She was wearing a thong or none at all, cause I could see everything. How can you not feel the breeze? Downtown was busy too cause it was the Lilac fesival so many other people must have a got a kick out of how stupid she is....k I'm mean. Not stupid....unaware that her ass cheeks are showing.

There's nothing like a sunday after noon and getting a little ass!

who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

2005-05-26T15:22:00.000-06:00

So today I woke up, as usual. Yep. Sludged upstairs, only to see a group of my brothers friends around the table. They were doing some last minute homework or something...who knows? Anywho...they were making fun of my spongebob get up. I think it's totally awesome. To them it was, "little girls wear spongebob, how old are you? Aren't you too old for spongebob?" I replied with, "shut up". Stupid kids, we are only young once, might as well act and look young as long as you can. Before you know it, you'll have grey hairs, balding, and a bunch of kids of your own running around. Duh? I am going to keep my youth as long as I can still pull it off. I can see it now......I am going to be 40, unmarried, bar-hopping everynight dressed like a 20 year old. Oh yeah....that's right, my life goal. To be a cougar....

P.S I just woke up in the picture...you can tell by my friggen hair. It looks like that every morning, your lucky it wasn't a mohawk this morning. I have shorter hair on te top o my head and usually when I wake up...it stands up straight in the air.

Whatever! I do what I want!

2005-05-24T09:12:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the delay in posty dingys! I went up to Invermere this weekend! It was frickin awesome! Wes drove Trevor and I up there, and we stayed at Sean's cabin. So the first night we drank around a campfire.....this was okay, only because there were sooo many people I didn't know. Second night, Teagan had a "gathering" at her cabin.....fuckin incredable (I can't spell). It was 5:20 weekend so that means no bras....every chick was bra-less! I was so glad I have small tits cause everyone was else had jiggly hanging baskets! Well not to that extreme! We made a trip to A&W everyday...maybe twice everyday. My liver is not working properly...I really don't feel like typing everything out so I'll just post pictures! Sorry....just a little bit lazy!

Trevor and I being idiots....

This is a way cool shop in Radium. When summer time come they put goats on the roof.

RAINBOW! haha

We finally met up with Sean.

Trevor and Sean being idiots....

This was in the visitor parking way the fck up a huge hill...it was obvious noone wanted any visitors.

Go-karting.....I didn't go. I spent all my money on clothes.

Pretty picture.....

Eyeing up a colt...

So now we are at Teagans. Me and Shae!

BEST PICTURE! haha!

Those are the bras!

Ali blowing chunks after a beer bong....and she cleaning it up too!

Heather passed out on the counter.

ROCK ON!!

We are so serious in this picture....

What was I doing???

Okay so there was this piano ith a vocal setting, so when you played the keys mens voices were going "boooo" or "bop" or "ahhhh". So trippy...

Me and Mason.

Me and Ivan.

Playin quarters...

I am pretending to be absulutly smashed it these pictures...

Blowing chunks in the sink! haha!

Jane and me. We could pass as sisters hey? er chin was swollen from tubing...she smoked Ali's elbow with her face!

Sean wakeboarding. I tried as well. I got up after the few times of plowing my face in the water.

Castle Mountain.

Well that's about it! K maybe there a little bit more to tell...but I am friggin lazy...

Oh Boy!

2005-05-19T10:38:00.000-06:00

Okay....

Oh yeah, I did it too. Funny....

role model? what role model?

2005-05-18T11:57:00.000-06:00

So I watched the episode of Britney Spears and Kevin (what ever his last name is), Chaotic. So stupid. I mean, yes I know I sound like one of those girls who just base their lives on latest fashion, new tv shows, etc,etc. But I am not. Britney is a role model to thousands, maybe millions of little innocent girls. From the first episode, I can clearly see why young girls should not look up to her. I'm talking little, little girls. 7, 8, 9, 10 , 11, 12, 13, 14 whatever years old. She mentions her and Kevin having tons of sex....so to little girls their minds are beng molded by this, "lots of sex is what Britney does". Or smoking, I can't say anything I smoke occasionaly, but when you 12 and seeing you role model smoke, obviously it's the "cool" thing to do.

If the younger generation continue to watch, read, play, whatever in this sort of manner....10-20 years down the road what will they have become. I'm telling you now, there will be skanky, mini britneys roaming the street. Look what she has started already....the school girl craze. Innocent, but underneath...total whore.

Maybe I am critizing her too much, all I can say when she is done up with make-up and wardroab....she's hot. Otherwise.....

My Fest Briend

2005-05-16T18:01:00.000-06:00

Latley I have been playing the guitar alot. I started taking lessons in September, but I felt embarresed cause I couldn't play that well....now everything is coming together. When I play i atcual make music instead of clangy chords and skimmpy string sounds. Anywho, for some odd reason "blogland" has been very quiet, I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

So I look to the west....black clouds. It's going to pour, it's going to rain down on my dirty truck and wash away the filth. Why is it dirty? Well there was a "river party" and it makes senses to me to drive through the field instead of leaving the vehicle at the top and walking. I know I am lazy. So, there is this swampy marshy thingy when you get the the river, I used to drive right through it. But the water is high this year...no luck with that. Mason built a sweet ass bridge, but some tards broke it. So basically to get across you either shimmey across a barb wire fence, or carefully walk on the stupid bridge. I chose the bridge, instead of slicing my arms open. The walk across to get there was fine, but the walk back I fell in. The water was right up to my torso...what's the use of geting back on the bridge? nothing. I kept walking through the stinky water. Yeah...those are always fun. I prefer hanging out in the middle of a forest, with a bunch of chill people...instead of going to the bar and get stabbed. Plus, last time I went to Cowboys, my feet were demolished. I just get stepped on all the time...by friggin women too! They either can't see me (cause i'm short) or they're bitches.

They are bitches...enough with my ramblings

Internet Can Lick My Balls

2005-05-13T11:19:00.000-06:00

Sorry for such a long delay, my internet is absolutly fucked up. I'v tried writing a post a few times bu then when I go to publish it or save it it goes to the page....fuck whats the page called?? It's where you have to refresh or check internet options, I donno. Oh yeah, Calypso is my friend mason, he was really interested in blogging so I thought I would add him but now he has his own blog. Click HERE to see Mason's blog!

I'm back at home now and have been for a while. Everything is good with my mommy so hopefully it will hold up.

I started working out mondays, fridays and wednesdays. Yea, I'm off my ass and doing something productive. After the first couple of time I was so sore, I walked around like an old woman with a cane shoved up her ass. Disturbing?

Anywho, I was doing my laundry today. I love folding towels....I don't know why I just do. Folding anything else is just shit balls, but towel are so fun! I must be the "Master Jedi Towel Folder" So I have decided to give you a little lesson on folding towels!

Step 1: take towel out of dryer, examine your speciman.

Step 2: spread and hold out towel length wise.

Step 3: using your chin, locate the center of the towel and press it down against you chest.

Step 4: bring your arms in together, allowing the towel to fold.

Step 5: this is what it should look like.

Step 6: flip the towel so that the folded edge is the closest to your pretty face.

Step 7: this is what it should look like.

Step 8: using your chin, (once again) locate the center again.

Step 9: fold in half.

Step 10: there is no need to flip this time.

Step 11: using your chin, (notice:the chin action is the key part of folding these delicate cloth pieces) smooth out the towel.

Step 12: holding the towel with your chin, put your hands in the middle of your boobs, (or man boobs) and fold over at that point.

Step 13: repeat step 12, DO NOT FOLD OVER YET!

Step 14: NOW fold the rest of the towel over the lump you just folding.

Step 15: Say, "Eureka!, Wala!" or whatever sound you wanna ake that signafies an accomplishment.

Step 16: Hold your towel, and laugh at its face. Make sure you laugh is one of "evil bad person on movie" laughes. Show it who is the boss!

Have a good day! AND happy towel folding! One day you too will be a, "Jedi Master Towel Folder!"

Why Am I Not In Bed When I'm Supposed To Be?

2005-05-05T01:14:00.000-06:00

Good damn question, I myself do not know. Prorobly because I had some big ass nap toiday, and now I'm on here because Meranda hooked me up with a free pass top write shit on her blog. Since this is my first post, I'm betting its safe to say my posts will licks nuts. Anyways here is some stupid stack of Jack bottles on my desk thats been there a while.

JACK & QUAKER 4 LIFE

& yea those Gernola Bars are fucken sweet, but the sprinckles go all over the fucken place when you take a bit, pisses me off. Much like the good topping on any food artical, when you go to take a bite, it slides away and falls on the floor. And WTF is with my begal', landed butter side down, bad luck also licks nuts. Anyways later kiddies, I am off to save the world from Pink Robots and Squa's.

VLM4L
&
VAJ05/06

Did You Just "Flip The Bird" At Me?

2005-04-25T12:50:00.000-06:00

Second time around for this video. Thanks a bunch to Chad, A.K.A Ciavarro for helping put this video on my blog. Well I shouldn't say he help me, he pretty much did it all. Except, for the headache and a half for me, trying to get the stupid video off my camera.

Well sorry for the blogging delay, the weekend was really busy and fun filled. Friday night was the first annual "river party". When it gets warm a shit load of us go down on some private property beside the bow the river and party our asses off. But this time was a disaster, some idiot lit a grass fire and fire trucks came to the rescue. Then the cops showed up, the majority of the people that were there were underage. Sucks for them....we left as the cops were showing up. To get down to the river, you have to cross this sketchy "mason-built" bridge over a huge pond. Me, almost took a bath twice.

Saturday, Wes and I went to a cemetery to burn off the extra time we had before heading over to KC's. Stupid-ass me had this great idea of taking a flower from someone's grave...and I did so. You know what would be ridicoulsly mean but very amusing: if some cheap guy couln't even buy his girl friend flowers, but instead when to the cemetary and stole bouqeats of flowers.

This is the flower I took, it was nice. Until it flew out the window.

Anywho, my mom made contact with me. She e-mailed me, I am not going to go into detail. But, I think I am going to head home sometime soon. I can't keep mooching off Wes...I feel bad. Well have a good day and if your having good weather...enjoy!

Oh yeah, yesterday morning I was sitting out on the porch and these two rabbits hop by. Pretty exciting, but what more exciting is what they are going to be doing later!

Wes' Place 4 A Week Or 2

2005-04-21T20:59:00.000-06:00

This is Leroy, he is fat.

So yesterday, my mom kicked me out of the house. I was kind of expecting it because we were fighting so often it was ridiculous! But for now, my homestead is at Wes' house. I'm not sure what is happening next but most likely I'll end up back home. I think my mom and I just need a break from eachother.

WE are so much alike. That's the problem, we argue verbally all the time. Sometimes we agrue physically. Hopefully it all works out for the best. If I am not accepted back at home, I'll hitchhike to hollywood and become a moviestar! Yesss!

I wish...

Blog Edit...

2005-04-20T09:00:00.000-06:00

Okay I am trying to change the look of my blog but it is taking awhile, I am sorry. I keep typing this into my template and pressing preview over and over. Well this is what I got so far...I don't like the top picture. Just ignore it. If there are any problems with the blog let me know. Also, if you have any ideas to what my blog should look like, please give some ideas! Well have a great and awesome day!

Edit: I changed the top picture to the x-rayed skully thingy. Thats way better than the one I had before. I think?

Cool, Clean, Fresh Water

2005-04-19T13:16:00.000-06:00

MMMMMMMMMM... tasty Lacy?

I R Make Fire

2005-04-18T20:56:00.000-06:00

Well sorry about the delay, I found my cmarea finally. Somehow it ended up in my luandry basket...who knows. Here's some pics from my bro's party. It was mostly family...but that's always good cause my uncles are hilarious. There are very few pictures I know, but here ya go!

Once again....I CAN make a fire. Yessssss!

I am debating weather or not to post my brother's picture. He's passed out lying in his puke. Just like I was last weekend. I have taught him well. Should I post his picture? It's pretty funny....

Today was the Hitman's big game. My cousin plays for the hitmen, I was gonna go but at the time I had a migrane that could crush a semi. Hense the fact at hockey games there are the annoying "puck-bunnies" screaming their little hearts out for the conceded, "top" players. I know the whole team.....one word that sums the majority of them is...CONCEDED. (it's probably spelled wrong, if you have a problem with that you can lick my balls) Anywho, it's a very nice evening here, not a cloud in the sky. Hope everyone is jealous....

Okay, maybe just a little cloud at the bottom. Just pretend it's not there.

new post time....i know

2005-04-17T21:38:00.000-06:00

Sorry, yup haven't posted this weekend. My brother had a party and that about says it all... I guess. Fuck I lost my camera or some sithead took it. So if anyone has seen my camera let me know! Anywho if I do find my caamera I will post some good pictures and if not i'll post something cool otherwise. But for now...sleep. Have a good night!

Poor Kid

2005-04-14T13:48:00.000-06:00

How many times can I remember slipping and fallin on the cement by the pool? LOTS OF TIMES! Can anyone join me with these memories?

Awesomest Post Ever

2005-04-12T20:42:00.000-06:00

Well no, not really but I am going try. I kept thinking and thinking about what I could put up but nothing came to mind. I was playing with my cat, she has this toy with a metal dingy thingy that makes a ringy sound. The string was broken so I tied it to a really long elastic. We had this game of kitty cat tug-o'-war and the frickin metal ringy dingy hit me on the top of my thumb cap. Fuck. My thumb was paralyzed for a while, stupid me kept playing the kitty cat tug-o'-war. Once again, about ten minutes later, the frickin ringy dingy hit me on the top of my pinky finger nail. It's on fire, now that I am a gimp, my awesome post is taking forever to type out.

I bought the new Moby cd yesterday. It's good...no wait awesome.

So, anywho. I once said on Jenny Good's blog comment dingy, "where does a calculator get it's brains from?". But really where does it get it's brains from. There are trillions of possible answers, questions, numbers, whatever. I'm no talking about about the dinky lil calculators...I'm talking the big scientific ones. With allt he graphing programs, equation solvers and what not. My only answer to the question(where does a calculator get it's brains from?) is, some nerd. Some guy had enough time on his hands to plug in all the possible answers into the calculator "main-frame". (or whatever...I'm not an expert). I would really like to meet this guy...every question I would ask him like, "where are you from?" would be a frickin math equation in his head and he would answer like, "C to the X root 12 times 982 squared". And I'll be like, "okay buddy.....english?" Enough with my rambling.

I am not satisfied with my "awesome post". It is not that awesome. It's o-kay....so-so. Hmmmmm I think I am going to be a fortune teller. It's wouldn't be that hard...you just tell them what they want to hear and they'll keep coming back to you. That would be awesome. Yup....another rotton ass post. Have a great ringy dingy night!

Always wear shoes in a cow field!

I Um Damb

2005-04-12T17:35:00.000-06:00

I'm gonna post something good.....I don't know what yet but I am going to...it's going to be a surprise. Latley my posts have been rotton ass, and I want them to be fresh ass...wow another rotton ass post. Okay enough, good...wait AWESOME post on the way! The picture I made is dumb...I know.

Ambience of Stupidness

2005-04-11T08:25:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted since thursday or whenever. The pictures on the top are for you....

It was a bad weekend. Friday I got a speeding ticket for fuck sakes. I was going 71 in a 50 zone. The fucker of a cop has this paint on his "invisable" car, that allows the light not to reflect. Asshole. Then even better I didn't have my licsence on me....so yeah, I got another fucking ticket. $301.00 fucking dollars.

Saturday....wow. Finished a mickey to myself in 10 minutes, then I drove home. Bad idea. I was seeing double lines...and I wasn't quite sure which ones were real. Luckily I live out on an acreage, so the traffic isn't that bad. I then get home and pass out. Only to wake up in the morning laying in my awful, smelly puke. I must have puked in my sleep cause in was dried down both sides of my cheeks. Sick ass.

Sunday was the day of dry heaving and hours of head aches. I am never going to drink again.....but I am not promising anything.

hair was there, now nearly gone

2005-04-07T20:32:00.000-06:00

I got a hair cut today. Pretty exciting. He chopping quite a bit off the top...it's a "sort-of punk rock mullet" now. It's awesome. Yeah that's it for today....i'm boring, I know.

Your Daily Dose Of Gross

2005-04-06T20:57:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I went to see my doctor. A few months ago I went for a blood test for mono and some other thing (I forget). I guess I was supossed to come in three days after that test instead of three months. Anywho they found a trace of Epstein-Barr virus. I know what your thinking, what the fuck is that? Right? It's like the start of mono, I don't have as much red blood cells as I should and succumb to illness faster than usual. Yes, I can say I am always fucking sick and tired. So today I went for another blood test.....I don't think I have much blood left. Jokes. I have been for so many god damn tests, they must have one of those huge Ocean Spray bottles full of my blood. Yup well there's my sick arm up there. You can't see it too well in the picture but the inside of my arm is purple and blue. Effin' bruised I tell ya. And as weak as a anorexic chick.

Well during the day I thought I'd let Melodi (my dove) fly around my bedroom. (I can close the blinds) It was pretty awesome. I made this whole get up for her. Seed dish, water dish, fruit dish and bread dish....buffet for the bird. Well it was all fun and games until it was time for me to put her back in her cage when I notice there was shit everywhere. I'm not talking little poops here and there. I mean huge shits all over the sheets, dresser, floor and running down my blinds. I really don't feel like cleaning shit tonight...so I am thinking about sleeping on the couch. It won't be that bad, it's better than rolling over in the night and feeling a slight smush on your face.

a world in a world?

2005-04-04T18:02:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I slept. What a surprise, duh. Last night I spent some quality time with my never ending weird wandering mind. I came up with this bright idea, it might be the next revolution. So we have our universe, right? Sun, planets and everything inbetween. Then we have the tiny molecules in every thing; nucleus, ribosomes, whatever. Now think deep. What if.... yes what if each tiny molecule was another universe. Humans, plants, fish, krispy kremes and all. Let me explain. The sun is the center of our universe, so the nucleus would be like the sun of a mini molecule universe found in a cheesey. Then....yes then in "their" little universe there is another mini mini molecule universe found in one of "their" cheeseys. OR.....yes or we could be a mini mini mini universe found in someone else's cheesey. This is the never ending cycle of universes I would like to call......The Theory Of Duplicate Universes. Are you following, or am I just a complete retard. Maybe I just shouldn't think.

Anywho. I fell down the stairs today. Okay you can laugh if you want. I wasn't hurt, it was one of those falls where your heels slips down the edge of a stair and you fall on your ass and slide down. Cause a vibrating scream, hense the fact your sliding down stairs. I should get one those escalator dingys build replacing the stairs. I will never fall again....knock on wood. Knowing me my shoelace will get stuck at the top and my legs will be grinded up in the grroves before I hit the RED stop button. So all I have to say is: stairs are very dangerous, remember the always think "steady feet, steady feet" while attempting to climb up or retreat down stairs.

tired....very tired

2005-04-03T03:13:00.000-06:00

Okay so, last night I went to the Motley Crue concert. Rad concert.... the best part was the strippers. There were these girls pole dancing during the whole thing...awesome. There was also so much pot smoking going down, I swear I got hig off the fumes. BONUS! That was a sleepless night....then tonight I decide to go partying again......to make a long story short, I need to sleep for like a week. I am burnt out to the extreme.

Some weird boardgame/drinking game some girls made.

Supossed to be a firework. I pulled my camera at the last one.

ROCK ON!

Bowser Bay and Back

2005-04-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

My family decided out of the blue that we were going to rent a motor home and drive to Vancouver Island. So......the next day we left at 7 am. The driving sucked balls but when we got to the cabin in Bowser Bay.......it was complete joy.

My brother's portable DVD player fried after we bought some sort of "inverter" cord and put the positive and negitive prongs backwards.

At the cabin.

Lacy licking the ass of a clam.

Raw oysters with hot sauce and lime is so good.

At every hotel we stayed at we snuck Lacy in. I would put her in my back pack and very sneakily walk by the front desk and srint to the room.

Sorry

2005-04-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hello....I am a bad blogger. I should have let whoever reads my blog know that I was leaving for a bit...but everything was so hectic. Packing, organizing and packing. But I am back now.....finally. I will post some pictures up when I get everything settled. See you later.

Tattoo or Two?

2005-03-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about getting another tattoo, but the burning question inside of me is, "where and what?". The picture above is the tattoo I have now. It hurt like a bitch when I got it, but it was worth it. Tattoos and piercings are a addicting. It is the nervous feeling you get driving to the shop and filling out the forms. Then the overwhelming fright just before the needle goes in. Brief pain. Finally the rush. That might be a tad bit weird but I like the feeling.

Okay. Let me think. Where should I get another tattoo? What is it gonna be? You know what would be really funny, to have a tattoo around your asshole that is like a dart board or target. That would be utterly insane to get something like that done. Hrmmm let me think about it. If yo ave any suggestion let me know!

My Existence

2005-03-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

There are many contributions that make up just one diverse human being. Six billion humans on this earth and each have very different characteristics. These characteristics are made up of; family, friends, features, personality, values and beliefs. Each of these contributions creates our diverse human race. In my opinion, a persons values are incredibly significant. A person without values or beliefs has no meaning to why they exist. Some beliefs and values that have created the person I am are the following: family, animal rights, and anti-violence.

The moment I was born my family was there, and I also know my family will be there when I am on my death bed. I have learned in my years of life that family will always be there for you. They are in your blood, body and heart. Many teenagers have gone through a phase of concluding that friends are more imperative than family. I know this because I went through the exact same stage. In my middle school years, I assumed my friends were the only ones who could be trusted, honest, and there when I needed them the most. Until fairly recently that changed. The one I once called “best friend” stabbed me in the back and stole from me. It was almost as if a knife was pierced into my back and through my heart. In pain and disgust the only ones who were there to comfort me, were my mother, father and two brothers. In this single act, I only know now that my family will be there for me in any time or situation. They will be there when in agony, they will be there when in doubt and they will be there when love is in need. A family is not just made up of humans, the family pets and wild animals are also living beings.

All my life I have had an undying love for animals. I can assume every little girl goes through an obsessing pony or puppy stage, including me. The once, modest fixation has now flourished into my career goal. It is now my objective in life to be a compassionate veterinarian. Knowing this, in my future years of practice, I am going to receive pets brought in that have been brutally abused or abandoned. These actions bestowed against the pets are inhuman, heartless and disgusting. I perceive this reality because of a certain childhood reminiscence. One summer, my family and I drove down to Idaho to camp by lake. Blue-green waters and scorching sun, I lazily sit in a canoe. Watching the bright, yellow sunfish flutter around the bread crumbs I drop in the lake. The unseemly splashing of water begins. A few boys, older than I, swing about their nets catching one to two fish at a time. The stunning fish end up under the crushing soles of shoes, the shoes belonging to the young boys. This undertaking may just be a diminutive part of the world wide exploitation of animal rights. Which include; animals being skinned alive for their fur, farm animals bound in tight corners of feedlots, and the hunting of rare animals for an effortless game. These revolting acts are what caused my passion against animal cruelty. Not only are animal rights dejected but human rights are mistreated as well.

In every school, there are forms of media posted up upon the walls, composed of what you should do if a bully approaches you. Any age, people are bullied everyday around the world. This measure can take a form of physical violence and mental violence. Mental violence is the harassment I endured. In grade six, my family and I moved out to Springbank. I enrolled in a new school hoping that I would be just as accepted as I was in the previous school. At the time, I developed a skin condition called Vitiligo. This disorder causes the color pigmentation cells in certain areas of your body to shut down. This ailment only left me with patchy, ivory white blotches in random areas. My new fellow students saw this as an excuse to not include me in social outings and to continually harass me with verbal abuse. Everyday I went to school, I would endure names such as; albino, blotchy, scar face and many more unkind titles. These tiny deeds are only an initiation to further physical abuse. The violence can arise to a magnitude such as murder, rape and even war. Bearing the actions bestowed upon me, my knowledge has grown to be aware of the increasingly growing numbers in violence victims. With my experience, this is an issue I can help stop. Hopefully my fellow peers will soon realize the importance of this matter.

The events situated in my life including family, animal cruelty and violence have shaped and set my beliefs and values. They may be minuscule happenings, but they have grown into an ongoing revelation in my ideals. Values are what form our minds and personality. They are viewpoints that describe our experiences, life and thoughts. They have created my reason for existence. With certainty, my values come into some significance in this essay, community and maybe even the world.

Hangovers Can Also Suck My (Fake) Balls

2005-03-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hangovers are the worst. The morning after a big night, it feels like time is going by so slow yet when I move around I feel like I am going so fast. It's weird. My eyes get all shifty and jiggly too, it's really diffacult to write this right now. It also sucks when you get up and you have to barf but your stomach is empty and all that comes up is acid and froth...sick.

rip rock retarded night....

2005-03-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

the title says it all.....

these two are in the awesome band Alaura! You may not have heard of them yet...but you will.

Overtime Sucks My (Fake) Balls Also

2005-03-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

My brother's hockey game had six over times.......they lost. The over time can lick my balls and the other team can lick my balls. My fake ones of course!!

I'm Losing My Mind

2005-03-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

Oh man, it's Friday. Thank God. This has been a shitty week: snow, hairdryer on fire, throwing up, no softball, all in all it's been a shit ball week. Yesterday I seriously thought I was going to explode with frustration. Now that it is Friday....it's time to get RIP ROCK RETARDED! It's going to be an amusing night because at some point I am going to go watch my brothers final playoff game........and I am going to be drunk off my ass. Well that's the plan, his game starts at 10:00 so obviously I am not going to hold off until after the game. Should be interesting.....

Where's George??

2005-03-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

Oh God

2005-03-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Almost TOO Funny

2005-03-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself!

2005-03-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

i'm bored....

Krispy Kreme

2005-03-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

They are AMAZING!

That's pretty much all I have to say......I ate that whole box, there's only two left. Have a good night, I'm going to go devour the last two.

Oh I Wish I Were A Monkey In A Zoo

2005-03-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

If I was a monkey, I would probably look like this....

It would be great to be a monkey, especially on that lives in a zoo. You get fed by humans, cleaned by humans and I could also scare the shit out of little kids. I could roar loud and crash into the metal bars and stick my hairy arms through the holes and try a grab little kids. They couldn't shoot me or anything, because I'd most likely be a protected animal.(they probably would shoot me if I ate a kid or something, but I wouldn't) Best of all I could fling my poop turds at the human tourists. Man, would that be awesome.

Yes, This Apparently Is A Self Portrait Blog

2005-03-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

Well this is now my self portrait blog....yesssss!

I had another shitty day so far, well not as bad yesterday. The shitness started when my blow dryer caught on fire, no i'm not joking. It started smoking so I turned it off. Stupid ass me then started it again to finish my hair and the plastic on the inside started on fire. So I pulled out the plug and wrapped in a towel. My precious blow dryer now lays to rest. In a deep, cold, dark place. The garbage.

Then, some lady from Banded Peak baseball called. Usually my friends and I play softball. We're not very good but the other teams we play against are so serious and shit. So when we get out there it's all a joke to us. Apparently I was the only fucking person who signed up. Everyone says, "yeah let's play softball, i'll sign up!" But when push comes to shove everybody is too fucking lazy to even sign up.

The picture of Bud, I had to put it up. He just looks so cute, yet at the same time viscous. He has a foe-fur blanket(which he sleeps on) and when it's all bundled up, it looks like he has hunted an animal. Haha my writing goes from ANGRY to HAPPY in two seconds. Skitso.....

This Makes Me Laugh

2005-03-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

I know it's kinda mean laughing when somebody has poo stains. But it's rare site to see a poo stain, espessially on a pretty girl who is trying to look sexy. Okay think of the hottest person....okay now think of her or him turning around and he/she has bacon strips on their underwear. GROSS!

Chemistry Can Lick My Balls

2005-03-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

Not that I have balls, but if I did. Chemistry can defiantly lick them. This has to be the most pointless subject, well it is to me. Frickin' elements and shit, I hate it.......once again chemistry can lick my (imaginary)balls.

It frickin' snowed today. I hate snow...I mean I love it in January or whatever, but it's March. The stupid tulips should be coming up. (okay...sorry tulips, you guys are awesome) Wow! This should just be my anger post, I had a shitty day.

Do you ever get the feeling after you ate WAY to much and youjust feel like shit? Well tonight I got to the point of throwing up. I picked up some Vietnamese food, not just some alot. I ate this soup, full of noodles. About 15 minutes later...I barfed.

Well Good Morning

2005-03-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is the first morning I had ever waken up not feeling tired. I bought these "melitonin" sleeping aids. They're little strips you put on your tongue, let them melt and within half an hour your eyes lids will be so heavy you can't even keep your eyes open. These strips are supoosed to help you relax and get a good night sleep.....well they do work. I felt like a million bucks this morning! Now the only I have worry about is becoming addicted to them. Addicted so much that I will not be able to sleep with out popping 4 or 5 in my mouth. So my plan is to take 1 only if I need a good nights rest.

Yes, this was another useless post, but at least I write one instead of none at all. Well that's all for now folks have a fun and interesting day!

Workin' At The Car Wash

2005-03-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

Well today I did dick squat. The only morsel of production was washing my cat and dog. Both of them are such babies, yeah I can understand how cats don't like water but dogs?? Esspecially mine, he's huge but yet he's still a baby and afraid to get a little wet. They always smell so good after you wash them....but I don't. As soon as you touch a wet dog that all you smell. While I go take a shower, I'll leave you with these...

Sleeping With My Eyes Open

2005-03-13T02:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight was rally weird. It was about 5:30, I started watching "Sky Captain and The World Tommorow" and I have to say that was dumbest movie ever. Why? I fell asleep maybe 10 minutes into the movie. It's now 2:00am and I am wide awake. Stupid sky captain...

I have noticed in my recent posts that I cannot spell. CORRECTION: I can spell. The fact of the matter is I just am too clumsy on the key the board. Fingers flying about, not looking at the sceen while typing. I am just a bad "typer". Right now, I am typing so slow to make sure I have vey few or no errors.

Well this entry was pointless, but hey what am I supossed to do with this sleepless night?

Here's something funny:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

I have come to a conclusion that hardwork and knowledge take you almost to the top. While bullshit and and asskissing will take you over the top.Well have a nice morning. This post was just a waste of energy. I'll leave you with this....

"The early bird gets the worms, but the second mouse always gets the cheese."

A Whole New Meaning To Finger Food

2005-03-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday yesterday, and I had made dinner reservations at a Moroccan restaurant. But first, my good friend, Wes did buy me a dove.(Wes is in the picture) I had a post before about wanting a dove for my birthday, and he actually came through. The dove is so sweet, I named her Melodi, for what reason you may ask? When I play my guitar her feather poof up and she looks like a porcupine. Therefore she must like the sound of the music. Music=Melodi makes sense. (makes sense to me at least and yes I changed the "y" to and "i")

The place we went to was called "The Moroccan Castle". On the inside it was dark, and the only source of light were the lanterns hanging on the wall. There were carpets hanging from the ceiling, which gave the place a "tent" look. We sat in a booth full of pillows and the booth itself was VERY low to the ground. The food was awesome and we got to eat with our fingers. Eating with our fingers makes us really realize that monkeys are our anscenters. My brother, Koden, made me realize that. I glance over at hima nd he's picking through his food just like on orangutan would. The chef made me this birthday cake, it was only about the size of....half a small pizza maybe smaller. But it's delicious insides won me over. It was like a huse pile of blacava. Almonds, pistachios, raisins, icing sugar, pastry all mendled up in, what almost looks like a Boston cream doughnut. Oh man, doughnuts. I am going to timmy ho's.....I bet when you are reading this I am scarfing down chocolate dip doughnuts. Maybe even timbits....along with an ice cappicino. OKAY I'm leaving now....

Oh yeah, this is Melodi.

Love....

2005-03-11T02:13:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe how I loved Missy. She was my best friend. In times when I was upset she was there to lick my tears away. In times of humor she was up for anything. When I was angry she would always cheer me up. My first memory of Missy was when I was 3 or 4. Everytime we would try and video tap her she would poke her head around the corner....sprint around the room, then stop. Once again she would poke her head around the corner....sprint around the room, then stop. Over and over until my guts burned from laughing.

Then when we got Bud. (We got him for free outside a safeway in Idaho, then snuck him across wih border with any papers) Missy was like a mother to him, she tought him everything he needed know. These days I can see Missy, I can see her in Bud. They were inseperable.

Then around this time last year I was in a school production. On the last night of our shows my parent's friends had a cocktail party. So, my mom was at the party and she drove home first to let the dogs out, then came to get me. After I got picked up we went straight to the party. An hour or two went by and I felt sick. So I drove my mom's car home alone. I get in my house and no dogs came rushing to see me, then I notice Bud scratching at the back door, my mom forgot to let them in. I let him in. We live on an acreage, so Missy had to be tied to a long rope because she would wander into the fields and hunt for mice. I go open front door, where Missy was tied up. Her rope was stretched out, I walk out side to see her collar and blood. The fucking coyotes killed her.

I was sick for a month, aswell as Bud. We couldn't eat and everytime I saw or heard something that reminded me of Missy, I would break down in tears. I know that she will always be with me, and I hope she knows that I will always love her.

It's Almost Like World Leader....

2005-03-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

You have to watch this....frankly to tell you the truth i cried the first time it watched it.

Smile!

Scroll down abit until you hit the black.

My Daily Dose Of Inspiration

2005-03-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

This sticker I have taped on my mirrior. (never stick it on cause then you'll wreck it) I get up every morning and see my motivational sticker. It keeps me going through the hard times.
That's it for now....

I.O.U??

2005-03-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

Ciavarro had a title on one of his posts that said, "A weeee leeeeetle beeet deeeeelaaaaayyyeed " and who ever could translate that would win a million dollars. I so happen to translate it. It means "A wee little bit delayed" slightly after I figured that brain twister out, I was ready to collect my winnings. Instead Ciavarro came up with the stupid scheme to chinse out on me. Well not really chinse out, it was more like (I can't think of a word but all I know is that it is worse than chinsing out). This is what he said:

"Right the prize is a million dollars...... minus some number I have in my head. And that number is!!!!!!!1,000,050. Therefore you owe me 50 bucks meranda. I take cash."

Now, after my strenuous work to figure out the translation I owe him fifty bucks. Well all I can give him is an I.O.U.

Psssschta! It's not like an I.O.U is really worth anything anyways....

"Sweet!"

2005-03-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty exciting. Matthew Good added a link from MLOG to "a waste of mind". Yup awesome. HMMM actually today wasn't that exciting. I remember when "BADGER, BADGER, BADGER!" came out. I thought eventually it would end....but no. I sat watching this dumbass thing for at least an hour. I kept looking for a change in the tone or melody that would singal the ending of this animation. Never happened.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/badgers.html
This next animation is really insane.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/kunstbar.shtml

Oh yes...the picture is from the animation, "Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt. If you want to see it you have to download it off Kazaa or Limewire or whatever. More good ones by Don Hertzfeldt is "Billy's Balloon"and "Ah, L'Amour" . Have a nice evening!

Never mind about downloading "Rejected"
Go HERE>>>>>>http://gorillamask.net/rejected.shtml
To see "Billy's Balloon"
Go HERE>>>>>>http://gorillamask.net/billysballoon.shtml
To see"Ah, L'Amour"
Go HERE>>>>>> http://gorillamask.net/lamour.shtml

Olive Grove

2005-03-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

I love this painting by Vincent Van Gogh. He painted it while he was in the asylum, he would look out his room window and there were olive groves outside. It was the only decent picture worth painting. The situation kind of reminds me of my life. I feel trapped where I am now and I need to be free. Free from rules, standards and snotty people. ANYWHO that painting above looks pretty good, eh? I painted it. It's a mini-masterpiece. I recreated a masterpiece, and it's only about the size of your hand span. It was really difficult. Especially to do Van Gogh peice, he has so many different, invidual strokes. That little painting took me three weeks. It paid off though, it's looks like the real one. A tiny one of course....

Homeless

2005-03-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

The warm, melodious sun slowly rises,
my damp, cool body will soon be emerged in the tenderness of the light.
The darkness begins to disappear as the searing sun creeps over the summits of the buildings,
the everlasting drudge of darkness is swept away by the eternal bliss of daylight.

The moist, cloudy condensation from my breath vanishes,
small icicles beneathe me begin to slothfully melt into grimy puddle of mud.
My stomach aches in pain as it has longed for food for such an eternity,
food that would be able to nourish and feed my detrimental, emaciated body.

I arise from the depths of soiled cardboard and crumpled news papers.
Another day begins, as I saunter out of the murky alley and into the radiant, open streets.
My hunger grows intensely stronger.
My hand gradually make their way down to my pockets to only find 3 quarters.

"please sir?" I ask a passing man.
He replies to me only in a devastating, annoyed stare. Looking at me as if I were only fungi.
Another man passes, "God bless you!" I declare,
as he drops minimal pocket change into my shabby, aged hat.

My hunger spent after I gorged down two doughnuts and a double chocolate cookie.
Day by day I look to eating the splenders of sugar,
that is the one and only reason I sould stay on this cruel world.

Soon the afternoon passes, then the lightness begins to plummet,
dropping harmoniously into the beautiful pinks skies of the west.
Creating a perfect picture over the Rocky Mountains.

Sitting alone, nothing to do, nothing to say.
The atrocious eternity of merciless silence,
day in and day out.

The ghastly darkness begins to takeover the breathtaking light,
slinking over the orange ambiance of sky.

I begin to lurch back into the glommy alleys where I had arised.
Gradually I lay back down to rest;
for there is nothing to accomplish in the nadir of the dark.

Shadows tiptoe over my smutty body,
and soon I will be lost, once again in the everlasting darkness of my home.
No, not a home. For the alleys are not a place to live,
I am homeless.

Let It Rain

2005-03-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to the sound of rain drop gently splatting on my window. My advice: that's best way to wake up in the morning. You feel so refreshed and new. I love the rain. I love the smell of rain, the feel, the taste, everything. I remember when I was younger, and used to live right in the city when it rained I would walk around my cul-de-sac with a bikini on and barefeet. With barefeet you have to be carefull not to step on any worms, so it was like a game. Don't step on any worms or they'll smush under you barefeet and you will have worm feces on your feet. Haha. It wasn't quite like that. I usually picked up the worms and put them in the grass cause if they are on the road or side walk someone is bound to step or ride on them.

When it rains now, I feel the urge to go driving. I have no clue why but I like to crack the windows a hair, (so you can smell the rain) and listen to Matthew Good.I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe the rain relaxes me, maybe I am insane. Who knows, all I know is I am in love with rain.

This picture turned out really trippy....I like it.

Dove

2005-03-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Last year for my birthday I got a tattoo of a dove holding an olive branch. The dove holding an olive branch symbolizes peace, and that means alot to me. I got a tattoo that actually has a meaning, where as other people get them for "shits and giggles". It hurt like hell. It was like a sewing machine stabbing you in the a back a trillion times. It was worth it thou.

My birthday is this friday and I think my good friend, Wes, is getting a real, breathing dove. I'm pretty excited about that. I can teach it to sing...

In And Out Of Conciseness

2005-03-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

Last night one of my close friends had a little get together because her parents were gone. So we're all just chillin, sitting in her room at like 2:00 AM having a smoke when the phone starts ringing. Scared shitless. Holli answers it and the bitch living downstairs is like, "I can hear every word you are saying, so shut the fuck up!" We all then just sit in her living room whispering. We had the tv on but it was muted then Marilyn Manson videos started playing and it was so fucked up. It's about 3:30 now and there is a loud bang on the door. Scared even more shitless. It was the cops. fuck. Everyone grabs the beer bottles and runs into Holli's room, so Holli and I answer the door and the cops were saying there was a complaint for noise. That ruined our whole night. We finally get to sleep around 5:00.

Morning comes around and we are all up at 9:00 to clean up her house. (her mom is coming home) After the cleaning, I eventually get home. For the rest of the day I laid in my movie room, or should I say slept. I would start watching a show and then fall asleep, and then get up when the credits are scrolling. Each time I woke up I was so thirsty and boiling hot, so I would chug down half a gatorade. But the thing is I kept getting fresh, cold fresh ones cause warm gatorade is sick. That was my daily activities.

Spectacles, Testicles, Wallot and Watch Austin Powers

2005-03-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

I have never had to wear glasses in my life, but recently I have noticed everything kinda went blurry and I had to focus really hard to see clear. I haven't been to the eye docter in like 9 years and he told me I should have a check-up every year....yeah right. But yeah, now I have got glasses and I see clearly now the rain is gone.

I have also decided to finish my last semester of school by correspondence. I really HATE going to my school. Every person in that school is soooo spoiled and so judgemental. All they care about is what kind of car you drive, what kind of jeans your wearing, "like omg is that a louis vuitton purse? get outta here...really?". I hate it soo much, it gets really annoying. There is this one girl everyday of school, I watch her eyes go up and down scanning what I am wearing. Then she would say a stupid ass comment like, "I was gonna buy those jeans, I tried them on and everything" or "Where did you get that shirt? Oh really well I was gonna get it from purple saurus." It is just stupid ass people who piss me off. I mean there are only very few people I can actually have a REAL conversation with. A conversation without talking about clothes, make-up, cars, accesories. Oh jeez, even a few guys in my school are spoiled asses. Like this one time I was sitting behind Mac's in my truck with a few friends and "guy" (I am not naming names) rolls up beside me with his "one of a kind prelude". It's one of those cars with the blue lights underneath and everywhere, the imported engine from Japan and the sound of the motor goes, "rannng ranng rannngg". So anyways he rolls up beside and shouts, "your truck is not so fast anymore Meranda." I reply with the sound of his engine, "rannng rannng ranng rangg". Idiots!

If The Nutri-grain Doesn't Work Try The Farting Cat!

2005-03-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

When ever I feel remotly sad I just watch this cat........let in play for the 5 minutes and you'll be laughing you ass off!
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartingcat.html
P.S. The picture of the cat.......she's mine, her name is Wacy. She's a really "sketchy" cat. She gets scared soooooo easily and when she does get scared she jumps almost 2 metres in the air and her fur puffs out like a blow fish. Right on! I gots a blow fish cat.

I Feel Great!

2005-03-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

This is probably one of the stupidest/funniest video clips I have ever seen! "babies everywhere!"
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/nutrigrainad.html
"you do feel great, I just shattered my hand!"
I don't think nutri-grain bars really work like that. First of all they taste like shit and they taste like shit. MMMMM here's their new slogan:

Eat Shit, Feel Great!

Washing My Bud

2005-03-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to wash my dog. The reason being: he smelled like he rolled in a dead, rotting magpie. Which is sick. So, he's a pretty big dog and a pretty big baby. And he happens to be scared of water so I tried to drag and push him into the bath tub.....no luck. Eventually I just had to pick him up and drop him in. As I went to go get the camera (stupid me forgot it) he jumps out soaking wet, shakes him self and stinky magpie water going all over the walls in my bathroom and the mirrors. haha. Now my bathroom smells like steamy, sweaty magpie Chinese food.

Academy Awards!

2005-02-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

The Academy Awards are tonight....well like 20 minutes until it starts. AWESOME! This is my favourite month of the year......March: my birthday, academy awards and springbreak! WOOT! Well I hope either Johnny Depp or Jamie Foxx win best leading actor. Thsi is going to take forever if i keep writing like this....I'll make it simple:
leading actor- Johnny Depp, Jaime Foxx
supporting actor- Clive Owen
leading actress- Kate Winslet
supporting actress- Natalie Portman
animated feature- Shrek 2...."are we there yet?" POP! POP! POP!
documentary feature- Super Size Me.....mmmmmmm Mcdonalds!
best picture- Finding Neverland

Hopefully my favourites and predictions will be correct! Enough of the computer, I'm going to do something more productive like watch TV.

hehe I'm going to watch the Academy Awards.

Boring yet fun night......

2005-02-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

Well today was pretty interesting, during the day the pretty much binged out on those chocolate pudding tubes. My mom buys a shitload of them cause she thinks my brothers like them but really it's just me who devours them all. Meanwhile my rents supposedly went shopping, (I found out later that my rents met up with friends, went to this ghetto lounge called "schooners" and got rip rock retarded). Hokay so, back to my story. Now that I am home alone, chowing down on pudding I decide to spend a lil quality time with my dog. (Yeah right....I'm always fart'in around with him) His official name is Pepper....everybody's dog is named pepper so I call him Bud....cause he is my buddy. haha I know you think it's gay, but I don't care what you think.

Then it got around 5:30...6:00 and I got extremely annoyed of being cooped up in my house, listening to the stupid-ass, disgusting gun shots blaring from my brothers' computer game. Even though I am all the way in the kitchen I still manage to hear every noise coming from that fucking game.....do you know why? My brothers play on this server which they both can play the same game at the same time, so the noises are playing simultaneously and my dad bought them these huge bass speakers. Of course they turn up the bass so that the floor vibrates...AHHHHHH I could go one forever on this topic. Okay back to the boredom of being home. Okay I'll skip some of the story....I picked up the "crew"....the two Seans and Kasey, and we went bowling! Yay! It was okay....my phys-ed teacher was on a date with his girlfriend(I don't know) and he was there.....so we kind had to behave. Somewhat. Then a few other people showed up and we chilled in the parking lot.

THE CREW!

Crazy BLT's for Mason....well just BL this time!

2005-02-25T00:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Every One!

2005-02-19T02:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed around easter time Cadbury brings out this "life size" chocolate eggs that are filled with some kind of sugar cream made to look like a raw egg? Think of that. Millions of people go out of their way to but these eggs that are made to seem like they are sucking a chicken embryo right out of the shell. Disgusting. Or even the little colored eggs with brown spots, they are a replica of robin eggs. People eat these chocolate eggs that are almost exactly the same as bird eggs. It makes me sick.

And we all know of the "easter bunny" right? What the hell does the easter bunny have to do with bird eggs? I would like someone to give me a logical explaination for this? It almost an abomination to culture. To my understanding I thought easter was a time where Ukrainians, which also happens to be my heritage, take real eggs a paint designs, symbols and meaningful words on the egg. After the eggs have dried completly inside and out they are givin in baskets, along with meats, bread, cream, cheese to family, friends and neighbors. Now easter has completly "americanized" to the white easter bunny who clucks and magically lays eggs?

first blog

2005-02-19T02:11:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog, still unsure of what is really going on with this whole contraption of a website. I have seen other people's "blogs" and they are quite amazing, but unfortunatly I might be mentally and physically able to meet the lowest standards.

Have you ever had those night when you don't want to go out and you end up staying home? Well this has been one of those endless friday nights where minutes seem like hours, and it seems quite hard to sleep. That was off topic but it defiantly ties in with my first blog. can't sleep=make a blog. I know in a few weeks time this era of "blogging" in my life will end and it will just be some pointless, time consuming page that no one will ever read, not that matters anyways. Just the thought of me putting effort into writing this calibration of words put into meaningless sentences....for what really? I don't know, maybe for myself, maybe for someone's enjoyment, maybe I am phsycholically challenged in the sense that I am using this blog as a diary for my mental notes. who knows what this blog is for. It's only my first one anyways.